I often wonder how my kids are going to grow up based on how I'm raising them.
Compared to how I was raised as a kid, it's completely different.
How many of you parents out there can agree to that?
So what does the future hold for my kids?
Will they grow up to be too soft and delicate to deal with tough situations?
Will they become too dependent on Norm and I for always being there ready to catch them when they fall?
Will they become spoiled and not realize the value of money because we live such a comfortable life?
These are the thoughts that keep me up at night.
So when I think about my childhood and how I was raised.
I think about how I've never said "I love you to my parents" ... ever
How I was never allowed to voice my opinion when I got scolded and if I did,
I would get into even deeper trouble.
I see that being angry was never okay but being sad was.
My emotions were always being suppressed.
So how did that affect me as an adult?
In my personal relationships, I would make it a point to be the one in control.
I never allowed myself to be emotionally vulnerable,
I would position myself so that when things get tough, I could leave the relationship
and come out unaffected.
In my work life, I became the push over,
Always the doer and always the right hand person to my manager,
but never the one getting the leadership promotion.
During meetings I remained like a fly on the wall, with the inability to voice my opinion.
If I was asked to speak my mind, my voice would shake and I would suddenly clam up.
This has affected me greatly in the corporate world.
I now understand why I saw peers getting promoted while I remained stagnant.
To be successful isn't about being the smartest person in the room, the person with the higher EQ generally becomes more successful in life.
And so I began to work on my own EQ.
So yes, my childhood was great, my parents loved me and showed me their love through acts of service
but what it lacked was the emotional availability and the encouragement for me to express my emotions in a healthy way.
This is why I am so passionate to give insight and coach others on this topic because I realize how much it’s helped me break my patterns.
Thinking of this gives me great comfort to know that I am raising my kids:
- To express their emotions in a healthy way so that they can become emotionally balanced people,
- Build strong relationships
- Have the confidence to articulate their thoughts and feelings
- Have the resiliency to face difficult situations
- Be empathetic and compassionate to others
It's never too late to work on your Emotional Intelligence. Here's to raising children who aren't afraid to feel!